Dear Grandma......

I wouldn't say I'm lost for words, I'd say the words aren't formed yet. Saying I'd miss you is and understatement and a poor choice of words to convey the void your departure has left in me. You are the backbone of everything I know and call family. Your strength in the face of earth shattering situations is unique and unmatched. You put deliberate effort into every single thing under your care, into every seemingly little detail, including how many tomatoes your soup should contain, little wonder everything you did was done in the best way possible. It hurts to remember that the last time you spoke directly to me, you were correcting me for something I did wrong, I don't know if I did a lot in making you proud during your presence, but I'm most definitely going to put more effort into becoming the woman you were. It sucks I'm working on my first book when this happened grandma, I already made the outline and I was thinking of asking you for ideas. But in imitation of you, I'm not gonna give up, I'd make the book, and by this time next year it'd be completed, this is the first promise I'm putting in writing to ANYONE grandma, and I'm glad I'm making it to you. I'd miss you calling "Phoebe", I'd miss you asking "Bawo ni school", and I'd miss a thousand other things you do. It's a source of immeasurable grief you are not here, you're the personification of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I'd miss our gists, I'd miss buying beans for you. Your strength of character is something I'd love to imitate in this situation, but it's so hard that you're not here. The good thing is when next you open your eyes, it'd be in Paradise, to a world that actually deserves you. I LOVE YOU GRANDMA♥️♥️.